hard times.

We’ve all heard it before.  We’re in a recession folks.  Hard times for all.  My friend’s nephew was killed while walking down the street one night.  A drive-by.  I don’t know what world I was living in, but for awhile there, I thought those things didn’t happen anymore.  Call me delusional, call me idealistic, but I just really hadn’t thought about it that much and for some reason, thought things were improving so much that these violent episodes could still be happening.  Not only did this open my eyes to the world in which I’m back in, but it also reminded me that there are others who are less fortunate.  Gang life might seem to be their only option during hard times.  What about people who are homeless?  How are they affected?  Less people are willing to donate anything these days in a newfound attempt to not waste instead of working together to create a better workable community for all.  As Obama has been trying to do, we need to rally the troops and get people to see past their personal troubles and pain and work together.  There’s always someone to help and who knows, maybe that person can help us too.

mothers make me crazy.

or is just me?  Since being back at home, nothing drives me more bonkers than my mother.  Not that I was unaware of what I was getting myself into, I knew.  I just didn’t know how crazy it was going to be.  So this morning I tell my mother, I can take you to work.  To which she replies, I can take the bus.  I answer, I don’t have work until 10 this morning.  So minutes later, I realize she has left.  I call her, and I asked her why did go take the bus when I said I could take her to work?  She answers that she thought I said I can’t take her to work.  She then informs me she hates these english words, can, can’t.  (actually she hates contractions because if it was can not, it would have been ok and similar to the khmer language) Is this is a great example of the cultural divide?  Am I just being language insensitive?  I try to use khmer as much as possible, but face, it english is my first language therefore, it just comes out more naturally.  But then again, my mother never seems to listen, always imagining that I am still that little child who would never have anything important to say.  Being back at home has definitely made me feel as if any “growing up” I did has regressed into nothingness.

what to do?

So I haven’t written in awhile. Not because I haven’t been thinking about it, but because I feel like I should have a purpose of writing this blog.  I want to take it away from being my personal blog into something more but I’m not exactly sure what.  I can’t necessarily blog about my partying ways because well… I’m going to be a teacher and there is usually something taboo about that.   I no longer live in the big city and I’m not doing anything particularly exciting so you tell me, what do you want to read about or have enjoyed me writing about?

a wink and a smile.

Most of my friends embrace technology wholeheartedly.  They love to get the newest gadget and are up to date on all of the latest buzz.  But how well do we embrace it when we take the love of technology and apply it to something that requires no technology at all, like dating.  At one time or another, dating was fine and dandy without the help of a telephone call or a instant message.  Sure, it makes it a lot easier, but what if the new way to date was only through technology?

A friend of mine recently joined nerve.com.  Rivers had mentioned this dating service to me when I first moved to New York City because his roommate was apparently quite successful on it.  As I have mentioned before, there is no dating scene in NYC so New Yorkers need all the help they can get!  Apparently nerve.com is for the young and hip.    The funniest thing during that conversation with my nerve newbie is that way that individuals can flirt with one another.  Since there is no face to face or physical contact, that has to be re-invented online somehow.  She’s had people wink at her, which she responds with a smile.  But when people start asking for kisses, is that going to far?  Even if its only digital?  I know some of you won’t kiss and tell, but do you think its weird to “kiss online” or do you think you’d be more daring because it is only online? And for those who don’t even kiss on the first date, what would be acceptable online?

happy birthday.

Today would have been Daniel’s 27th birthday.  He was a sweetheart and one of my closest friend in San Diego.  Some people shy away from talking about those that have passed away, I feel like it’s a way to preserve the memories and their spirit.  He loved and was loved by so many people and I was lucky enough to be one of them.

*I love you and still think of you often.*

identity crisis.

The other night my mom tells me that I’m too American.  I’ll never make it she says.  I’ll never survive.  The ironic thing is that my friends think I’m so Asian.  I eat rice porridge and fish for breakfast (voluntarily!) and watch tons of Asian cinema and television shows…  So in a way I’m super annoyed but in another, I’m laughing inside.  There is no easy middle ground for me.  My mother thinks my thinking is too American, even the way I pack is too American.  I almost want to point out, if she hadn’t noticed that I have been living in America for almost 28 years.  How else am I suppose to be?  Then again, to many Americans, I am Asian.  Can’t a person be both and not have to choose one or the other?

Funny Face and I were sharing crazy Asian mom stories and sometimes we feel as if we could write our own Joy Luck Club.  As much as I love my mother, the cultural and personality differences between the two of us makes it really hard for us to be in the same place for too long.  Until I find a job and move out though, this will be a crazy couple of months.  Wish me luck!

bastille day in bk.

So a major chunk of my time in NYC has been in the wonderful borough of Brooklyn.  I student taught in two schools in Brooklyn (down the street from each other) and I fell in love with the Cobble Hill/Boerum Hill/Carroll Gardens area.    Here are the beginning posts of my summer activities (many of them in BK).  First off, Bastille Day!  Yes, New Yorkers celebrates the beginning of the French Revolution.  What better way to start the festivities?  A foosball in the street of course.

happy new year!

Happy New Year everyone!  I hope everyone had a great time ringing in the new year with their loved ones.  I had a fabulous time spending it in the bay area with a lot of the UCSD crowd.  It was a very nice homecoming.  For those who don’t know, I have moved back to Cali.  I can’t believe I haven’t written anything in about two months!  It has been a crazy two months, a few visitors such as Jo, Rach and Mel (all the way from AU!) and then I had finals, the holidays hit and of course my big move back to CA!  I still want to finish up my “Summer” session of this blog – even though its a few seasons late.  Does it count that LBC still feels like summer??

Now its off to business.  I still have no job.  Although I am going to be doing a tutoring position for now until I can find a permanent full time job.  Since I am no longer a CA girl living in the big city, I will just have to write about my transition from the big apple to the golden state.  Anyways, I just wanted to wish everyone a happy new year!  Here is a picture of me and funny face from the big night.  I thought I’d share my new hairdo.    A new do, a new year.

funny face and I

sodium, sodium, sodium.

So it’s a running joke amongst friends that I love salt.  I don’t deny it, one of my favorite things in the world is saladitos which is just salted plums – but seriously it is nothing BUT salt.  However, today I tried a low sodium soup from TJ’s and if you’re going to make some that crappy, please just add the salt.  There’s not point in me eating something low sodium only to have to add more salt to it because it tastes awful without it.  Even people who don’t love salt will have to say this soup is like poo.  (until you add salt, that is!) 

it’s a new era.

I feel that so much weight has been lifted off my shoulders.  I was getting so anxious and nervous with the election but now that it is over and done – we can finally take a deep breath and let it all sink in.  We were a part of history.  We helped make this happen and that is something that I haven’t had time to really think about during the election.  As a minority, as a race that is considered an “other,” the mere thought of having a black president would have been impossible a couple of years ago.  But here we have it, we have elected Barack Obama as our 44th president.  I always knew America wasn’t ready for a women president.  Even black men could vote before women could (of ANY race) so it made sense to me that the democratic party went that route – but that is not to say that he isn’t intelligent or deserving of this honor, he fought extremely hard for this election and I was definitely happy that he won, but I’m just saying.  Can’t say that race or gender didn’t come into play into this election because that was what this election was all about.  The historic implications…  It was either a black president or a women vice president. Either way, it was historic and a great sign of the time.

Now the bigger questions is…  Is it still the “man” holding us down?  It used to be the white man… but now that our President-Elect is black – does that change anything?  Considering that Congress is still extremely overwhelmingly still old white men, I think not.  To me, the “man” will always be the old white men – still voting on laws and making changes to the government.

On a sadder note, Prop 8 in California passed.  I am coming back in December and I will try to get out there and get it repealed but it really was a sad day for me and my friends.  You don’t need to be active about gay rights to care about it, you just need to be human and have compassion for your fellow human beings.  These people are asking for the same rights that heterosexuals have in their state.  Is that so wrong?  We can give chickens more space in their farms but we can give equal rights to all.  It’s pretty shameful.  Especially since its on the same night that we can vote a Black* president into office.  It’s one step forward, and two steps back I suppose.

* I wasn’t sure if I should capitalize all of the B’s for Black or black.  I mean when I write about white people I never do, but if I capitalize one, I should capitalize the other, in all fairness.  What do you think?  Also, I read an article about the line to vote and someone quoted a voter in saying “It’s either an hour and a half at the front of the line or three hours at the back of the line”… a black democrat.  Was it necessary to point out that he was black?  And this is why I note that we are still the “other” race because if its not explicitly mentioned, everyone assumes that it is about a white person.