I was having a great conversation with my friend Leo and it came out that I don’t take compliments very well. He didn’t realize what kind of a role I played with AA (the nonprofit I work for – but not alcoholics anonymous) and was really struck by the fact that I have not mentioned it to him since I started working with them three years ago. Call me sheepish, call me crazy, I just NEVER want to toot my own horn. When I came to this realization I laughed about it because I realized that I can take shit, and I can take criticism but yet when it comes to compliments, I get all weird and awkward about it. Leo calls that insanity. I can’t deal. I cut myself down. I can’t help it. I never want to hear what people think about me (good or bad) but for the most part, I don’t even care about it – that lesson in 4th grade peer pressure made a massive impression on me! Call it insanity, call it extreme humility, but its just in me and my culture to never really talk about my accomplishments. I already know I did something great, I did a good job on it, I don’t really need anyone’s validation. But for the most part, when people give me a compliment, I just feel really weird that they are acknowledging something I did – as if whatever I did was trying to elicit their attention.
more coming soon…
